What happened to my blog?

This morning I found myself looking over some old posts and wondering what happened to my dear blog... why did I stop posting? Was it simply that I had nothing to write about? Or was it that I felt there was little purpose in posting my observations if few ever read them? And then one of my favorite quotes came to mind from Orwell's 1984:

"He was a lonely ghost uttering a truth that nobody would ever hear. But so long as he uttered it, in some obscure way the continuity was not broken. It was not by making yourself heard but by staying sane that you carried on the human heritage. He went back to the table, dipped his pen, and wrote..."

It is easy to lose confidence in your own thinking, in your unique observations and beliefs and simply cast them aside in favor of a quieter, less controversial existence. Who knows if what I am uttering is truth, or opinion, but it maintains my own inner continuity in a way that no one Else's opinions ever will. High school is time to find your own distinct perspective on the world, or else surrender it to the tides of conformity. It is a struggle that never ceases, even when one enters the adult world. But the very struggle is unique for every person, and reveals a commitment to the "human heritage" of the quest for truth.

Maybe this post isn't going to enlighten anyone's thinking, but so long as I utter it, in some obscure way the continuity is not broken.

Fighting The Hamburger Stand

I have read various novels this summer, from "The Glass Castle" to "Anna Karenina" (I'm pretty proud of that one) to "Eden's Outcasts". I have had many literary revelations and a lot of new words to mull over, but the most haunting and confounding discovery I have made this summer comes from an unlikely source, David Guterson's "The Other". I would describe this novel as a hybrid of "Into the Wild" and "A Separate Peace" (two of my all time favorites). It pairs the lonely transcendental journey of a confused young man with the story of a surprising and engaging friendship. I imagine that for readers who are no longer students, this novel "reminds them of their youth", making them nostalgic and maybe regretful. For me, someone who is right smack dab in the middle of her high school years, this novel is frightening and all too real. It exposes the conundrum of existence, whether to escape a backwards society, or become a part of it while retaining the illusion that your brand of existence is esoteric and "special" when in reality, you are still part of the hamburger stand. I guess what I am trying to say is that you need to read this book, because it will either awake within you a need to study that conundrum, or it will corroborate your given situation and make you feel like you are in the right. But even if you aren't searching for a meaningful novel or a philosophical solution, this is a well told and riveting piece of fiction that reads like reality, and you will certainly feel a part of Guterson's world.

Earth Day

Being an environmentally conscious individual, I was very excited to hear that my school had deemed this week "Green Week" and dedicated each day to a specific lesson about going green. Monday, there were two electric cars in the school, a lesson in purchasing for teenagers ready to buy their first car. Tuesday, visitors came during lunch to teach about green architecture and other important ways to go green in a big way. Today is walk/bike/carpool to school day. Of course, I will be riding my bike! Tomorrow is "curriculum day", and also, there will be a recycled fashion show. Friday will be "pledge day" so that everyone can make a pledge to themselves to improve the world around them. As I watched a show about the 'human footprint' this morning, I saw a staggering statistic, the average personal watches 12 1/2 years of television in their lifetime! Wow, I turned off the TV right then.
I like to think I watch much less TV than the average person, what with cooking, dancing, and reading. But still, I feel like I need to cut back even more. Also, I've already improved my footprint by becoming a vegetarian one year ago. According to PETA "According to a 2006 U.N. report, the meat industry produces more greenhouse-gas emissions than all the cars, trucks, planes, and ships in the world combined". Though I am not as radical as PETA about animal rights, I do agree that the raising of animals purely for food has become harmful to the environment in so many ways. I have decided this week - and I hope I can uphold this decision - that I am going to strive to buy only used goods from now on. This means buying "vintage clothing", used books (!), and, if possible, used electronics. Who knows, maybe this green craze will wear off, but maybe not!

Loss, Hope, and Pride

Today was a sad day at my high school. At the end of third hour, our principle announced the loss of one of our freshman students, his name was Martin. From the announcement, I learned that Martin had been in band and that he was a vibrant wonderful young boy. This was evident as the classes poured out after the bell had rung, an eerie silence settling over the narrow hallways, and downward glances couldn't hide the tears stuck in so many students' throats. I like to think that this silence was the sound of 2000 ears listening for Martin's voice, hoping it would resound once more. The silence spread across the lawn at lunch, an unusual and unsettling sound in a place that is so often filled with raucous joy. There were few words to be said over our meal, and instead we simply peered at circles of warriors, weeping, remembering, and comforting one another with hugs and pats. Counselors patrolled the campus, giving a much needed hug to any student with tears in their eyes and shocked expressions. The girls bathroom was rife with more tears, and it was a very hard place to be for long. I did not know Martin, in fact I had never heard his name, and yet it stuck to my thoughts like a leech all day long, often bringing me to tears at his mention, or at another student's pain. It is hard to describe the feeling of walking into a hushed classroom and noticing a red wet face huddled under the comforting arm of a caring teacher. It is hard to describe the lump in my throat when I looked up to see the stars on the ceiling, in place for wish week, turned into memorials for a lost life, so many testimonies to a wonderful life young man. Every tear, every hug, every exclamation of grief and pain was felt in the hearts of every student, and I have never before felt as if my breaths and thoughts matched precisely those of the strangers I shared the hallway with. I am touched and saddened by Martin's passing, and all I can say in his memory is that I have never been more proud to be a warrior.

Struggling With Paratactic Structure in Naked Lunch

As I embarked on my second semester ALIS (American Literature Independent Study) novel, I chose a piece of literature that I knew full well would be the most challenging read of my life, William Burroughs's Naked Lunch. I was searching for a novel that challenged me as a reader, but also as a citizen. I wanted something highly controversial and somewhat unknown. This novel fits both categories, and also challenges every single societal ideal that has been drilled into my brain. This text would never be taught in a high school classroom setting due to its various obscenities, however, I found it to be a launch pad for many varied paths of questioning and realization. This is where my problem resides, in choosing only one (or two) of these realizations to build my critical essay, which begins with composing a thesis statement. I struggled today to make any progress with narrowing down my thoughts and forming anything closely resembling a thesis statement - which is usually no sweat for me during the writing process. If anyone reading this post has read Naked Lunch, I would very much appreciate some perspective of narrowing down a topic. The school of literary criticism that I have chosen is postmodernism, which allows me to focus on every aspect of the novel rather than just one. I am intrigued by Burroughs's intentional paratactic structure (sentences and paragraphs that use punctuation like ellipses rather than connecting words and phrases) and lack of plot. I have read essays that assert this to be his way of stating the manipulative power of language, but I find this idea relatively hard to grasp. This post may not be of any use to those who have not read this 'novel', but I thought I should put it out there in case somebody can offer some helpful hints. I should add that though this book was challenging and obscene, it is a powerful and singularly important text, especially for teenagers, which showcases the many facets of drug culture, and indeed, American culture at large. I would recommend it to any curious (and brave) readers.

Dear Mr. President...

Dear Mr. President,
You amaze me every time! After reading your letter to the American people about the disastrous economic crisis, I felt a renewed sense of hope, as I always do after hearing or reading your words. You emanate hope as the sun emanates warmth. I was, and still am, proud that you have the courage to include education in your long list of steps to help our failing economy. Many people have doubted that this will improve job loss and recession, but I believe in education above all else. I believe that with a greater public education system, we can inspire more students to work to their full potential, and give them a safe-haven from the degrading effects of a failing economy. We can ensure that more students will be able to prepare themselves for the challenging job markets with a college education, one that they won't spend their entire paycheck on in years to come. We can give them a place where they don't need a checkbook to attain what they desire, where passion and hope for the future trump cynicism and failure. I find, in this place, a second home. I want you to know, Mr. President, that the most certain future we can build for this country is one that continues to grow and change, and this growth, this change, resides not in the capital building, but in the classroom.
Many thanks and much hope,
Hannah

Solitary Confinement

After listening to this story from NPR on the radio, I found myself struggling with the idea of solitary confinement, and other ways that men are punished. One of my favorite quotes is this one, by Eugene Debs: "While there is a lower class I am in it; while there is a criminal element I am of it; while there is a soul in prison, I am not free”. This is what I contemplated as I listened. I thought of the fact that we only get one chance on this earth, one chance to make a life that fulfills us. And to think that one mistake (granted, one huge mistake) would warrant 36 years in a solitary cell 23 hours a day, after a trial that was biased by prejudice. I find it so tragic that a human life can be thrown away so easily, even if it is the life of a murderer. Now, don't get me wrong, murderers should be punished. However, I disagree with this idea of solitary confinement, and I disagree with our inherently unjust justice system, and I disagree with the idea that criminals never get second chances. Especially if it is only because of their race. I am an idealist, and ideally, I would live by Debs' quote, and consider myself not to be free while one human life rots in a cell. However, it is a corrupt world in which we live, and it would take a mighty wind to reverse the dangerous course of our justice system. Can this wind ever begin to blow?